Phone Tag
by KSlycke08
Summary: What happens when Pyro and Gambit overhear something they shouldn't! Humor!


What happens when Pyro and Gambit overhear something they shouldn't!

Just another silly fic starring the Acolytes.

Like always, my story, their characters, 'Nuff said!

Phone Tag

It was always him.

Why, he had no idea.

One night it was the bathroom, the next the TV and now it was the telephone.

He had gotten used to Gambit's habit of calling the X-Mansion and hanging up every time Rogue answered the phone but this was getting ridiculous.

Now he had to deal with Sabretooth.

As much as he hated to admit it, the man was spending way too many hours on the phone with his 'girlfriend' and Pyro was sick of it. Before then, he didn't even know Sabretooth knew how to use a phone but now he was getting to be resentful every time the phone rang.

As usual Creed had streaked past him as soon as the phone rang shoving a giant mitt in his face as he went.

"Oh, don't mind me!" He yelled past him. "I'll just be sitting here waiting for MY POOR DYING GRANDMOTHER'S LAST PHONE CALL!"

"Fuck you…." Creed yelled, slamming the door shut in the only private place left on the base.

Today it happened to be the bathroom.

Since no one had bothered fixing the plumbing the upstairs bathroom was more or less relegated as an 'off limits' area, therefore designating it as the only private place on the base.

'Not again'. Pyro thought, staring at the door.

"Creed again?" Remy asked.

He was walking back to his bedroom and noticed Pyro's plastered face against hallway. Since Sabretooth's shaver incident, slamming doors didn't sound the same kind of alarm as it used to.

"What was your first clue?" Pyro asked standing straight and running a hand through his messed up hair.

"I been waitin' for dat phone all day." Gambit grumbled listening to the murmured whispers behind the door.

"What for? You know you're just gonna hang up again." Pyro mumbled.

"Heh, I could do it." Gambit said faking his own bravado. "Soon as old fur head gets done."

"Sure, if you have time to spare." Pyro replied.

Last time this had happened he'd been waiting for two hours.

"First the razor, then a haircut, and now he's hogging the phone."

"Man's gettin' ready for a serious intervention." Gambit agreed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Behind the door Victor Creed sat on the ivory throne propping his giant feet up against the broken tile of the bathroom wall, the cordless phone snug against his ear.

He didn't know it at the time but destroying the upstairs bathroom was the best thing he had ever done. Not only could he be by himself but he could also have a little bit of privacy.

And that was what he needed now.

Right on cue Raven had called him as soon as those little Bayville Brats vamoosed out of site, the phone ringing on the base.

All he had to do was just shove that little punk Pyro out of the way and he could talk all he wanted.

"Y'ello." He said, trying to keep his voice casual.

He knew who it was going to be but he played the game anyway. That was half of the fun for him. It wouldn't be a challenge anyway else.

Over the phone Raven was just beginning with her usual nagging and moaning, dropping not too subtle hints about their next 'date' and where he should take her next.

Mostly these were some new and overly priced restaurants with tiny food that left him still hungry but Raven liked them and he liked her too much to argue.

Tonight it was some theme place she had read about in the 'Food' section of the paper.

"D'iamon'de, huh?" He asked.

The name already sounded way too French and therefore way too pricey.

Absently he thought about how much Magneto was paying him.

In fact if he had to think at all, it was all he could do to concentrate on the actual conversation, his voice only interrupting with occasional polite noises and 'Mmmms……and aahhs….'

His true thoughts were far away.

Like the bedroom.

Or the sofa.

That one time on the stairs.

No one ever asked but he'd also known Raven far too long to say anything or stop her when she was in one of her moods. When Raven went to ranting it was best just to kick back and pay attention. He didn't like it but he knew from experience that if he wanted to go over he'd be best to keep his mouth shut and listen.

Holding the phone with his shoulder Creed continued to stare at his hands, his mind a million miles away and thinking about tomorrow night, his claws popping in and out and protruding from his fingertips.

He supposed they could look normal if he kept them in but when he stuck them out was when they were scary looking.

By habit he popped them in and out as Raven talked.

"Say it." She said.

Oh crap.

He wasn't really paying attention and now she wanted him to say….

What?

"Um, uh…."

"You know how much I love it when you say it." She cooed.

"C'mon, Raven, now?" He said stalling.

He still had no idea what she meant.

"Just say it for me. I promise I'll make it worth your while…..later."

Her voice was like silk in his ears and he frantically tried to remember what she was saying.

Some fancy restaurant, something, something, something, food, and a well hinted at promise that picked up his ears.

Fuck.

Why hadn't he paid more attention?

"Um, um, well, ah, I Lo….." He stammered.

SNORT!

He heard.

"Ha Ha Ha! Yo! Pietro, get a load of this, man!"

"Goddammit Toad! Get off the fucking phone!"

"Ha ha!"

"Man! I can't believe it!"

"Raven and Vic, sittin' in a tree…"

"You little…!"

BAM!

"Hold on Vic, I'll be right back."

Clunk.

That had to be Raven setting the phone down.

"Get back here dammit!"

"Eeeew! Old people! And on the phone!"

"I swear to God Todd Tolansky when I get my hands on you!"

BANG! SMASH!

"And you! Pietro! When I tell your father!"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

He didn't want to imagine what was going on but judging by the noise it wasn't anything good.

CRASH!

Served 'em right anyway.

"Owe! Owe! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"mufflemarble %^&# you %!*& mufflegarble!"

"Ok, OK! I promise! Uncle! Owe! Owe!"

Thump Thump Thump Thump Thump

Huff, huff

"So… where was I?" Raven breathed reaching the phone again.

"Um…."

Maybe if he was lucky she would have forgotten.

"Oh yeah." She giggled.

Mystique giggling, now that couldn't be good.

"Do that one thing you do, you know, when we…"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Behind the door Pyro and Gambit listened.

It wasn't their usual habit to eavesdrop but Creed had more or less forced their hand when he destroyed the only upstairs bathroom.

Now they wished they'd never heard anything.

"Do it."

"Aw, c'mon Raven…"

He didn't really want to but Raven liked it and she kept insisting.

"Please? For me? Pwetty Pweese?"

He hated it when she baby talked to him but like putty in her hands he didn't have much choice.

Groaning he tried to keep his voice low.

"I'm your little kitty cat, I'm your little kitty cat." Sabretooth mimicked half hearted.

"Who's my widdle Sabey Toot?"

"_I'm _your widdle…..er, _little _Sabey, er, Sabretooth." He mumbled.

This had to have been the most humiliating thing he had ever done.

Over the phone Raven was still giggling though.

"OK, now do that one thing, you know the one you do when we (you know)."

"Now?!" Sabretooth blanched.

"Oh come on! For me?" She pleaded.

"Raven, don't make me do it."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because, it's just, it just ain't the same without, you know."

"You can't do it without (you know)?"

"Yeah I can. It's just hard to."

"Well I want you to."

"No."

"Come on…"

"No."

"What if I told you what I was wearing right now?"

"Um, uh…."

"Just do it. For me."

"…………"

"Please…?"

"Alright….Fine." He breathed.

She'd have to owe him for this one.

Starting low like a deep vibration in his chest he worked the sound up into his throat until the sound resonated on his vocal cords.

Purring was actually harder than it looked.

"Mmmm, I love it when you do that."

"So… what are you wearing?"

The End


End file.
